Understanding anxiety, ADHD, and the nervous system
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on my experiences with addiction, anxiety, and ADHD, and I realised something surprising:
I have far more acceptance and compassion for my addiction than I do for my anxiety.
I can listen to podcasts about addiction, read memoirs filled with shame-filled moments, and not feel triggered. I find those stories validating, relatable, and even fascinating.
But when it comes to anxiety? That’s a different story. Consuming too much content about it doesn’t just make me reflect - I feel it. My nervous system reacts, and suddenly, my anxiety is louder than ever.
The difference between addiction and anxiety
I think that’s because, in many ways, I’ve made peace with my addiction. I’ve worked through the shame. I’ve been sober for seven years. I know addiction is a part of me, but it’s no longer in control of me.
My anxiety, on the other hand, still feels like a battle. I get frustrated that I “should” be able to manage it better. Ironically, that resistance only seems to make it worse.
The more I try to fight it, the louder it gets. My nervous system is already on high alert, and my attempts to suppress or control it only crank the dial up further.
The overactive amygdala: anxiety’s control centre
I recently described it to a friend like this: my amygdala-the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats-feels huge. Like Jabba the Hutt, sitting there in my brain, ready to overreact to the smallest thing.
And that’s the problem. When you live in a constant state of fight or flight, even tiny things can feel overwhelming:
My dogs misbehaving on a walk
A message I haven’t replied to yet
A minor inconvenience that suddenly feels like my whole day is spiralling
Rationally, I know these things aren’t life-threatening. But try telling that to Jabba! My brain is wired to constantly be on alert.
Can acceptance make anxiety easier to manage?
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance.
What if, instead of trying to fix my anxiety, I focused on allowing it to exist? What if I met it with the same compassion and understanding that I have for my addiction?
Instead of getting caught in a cycle of frustration, what if I recognised it for what it is-just my body’s (clumsy) way of trying to keep me safe?
Working with anxiety instead of against it
That’s exactly what I talked about in my latest podcast episode-the idea that sometimes, the best thing we can do isn’t to fight harder but to soften.
To acknowledge what’s happening instead of resisting it
To work with our nervous system instead of against it
To give ourselves permission to feel what we feel, without judgment
It’s not easy. I like solutions, action, and progress. But maybe acceptance is the work. And maybe, just maybe, it will make things easier in the long run.
If any of this resonates with you, I’d love for you to give the episode a listen.
And let me know in the comments - what’s something you’re working on accepting right now?
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