It’s a regular comment I hear when it comes to neurodivergence: 'Everyone's got something these days' or 'does everyone really need a label?' Or the dreaded 'Why does everyone need a diagnosis these days?!'
Firstly, let’s be honest - most comments that end with these days make you sound like a bit of an intolerant kn*b!
Secondly, these comments remind me of phrases like All Lives Matter or What about International Men’s Day?! At best, they come from a place of misunderstanding and a lack of awareness of one’s privilege. At worst, they can be deeply harmful, dismissing the very real challenges that neurodivergent individuals face in a world designed for neurotypical brains.
Why Labels Matter
Comments like these undermine the journey people go through to get a diagnosis -something no one does lightly. They dismiss the struggles of individuals navigating life in an environment that isn’t built for them. Neurodivergent individuals often face constant challenges, from sensory overload to difficulties with focus, executive function, and emotional regulation.
I remember seeing a therapist a few years back, just after I had my daughter. She spent a lot of time telling me that I was at risk of pathologising my natural human responses to the world. In general, I do agree - we sometimes over-label emotions that are just part of being human. Feeling anxious before a big event or sad after a tough day doesn’t always mean there’s a clinical issue at play.
But something didn’t sit right with me. I kept asking myself: 'How can what I’m feeling possibly be normal? I cannot believe everyone else is wandering around feeling like this and managing to cope, because this is f*cking awful beyond belief!'
The Reality of Undiagnosed ADHD
I see myself as a resilient person, always looking for solutions and reframing challenges. I try not to dwell on negatives. But no matter how much I reframed, every day felt like an overwhelming struggle. Surely, this wasn’t just mindset?
I remember sharing my struggles with a colleague. When I told her how difficult I found simply getting through each day, she said (well-meaning, I’m sure), 'Are you sure that’s really true, or is that just your perspective?' I took that question seriously. Did I just need to be more positive? Did I need to shift my perspective?
NOPE!
I had spent years trying every possible mindset trick. I had objectively good things in my life. And yet, I still felt like I was drowning. That’s when I followed an inkling I’d had for years and pursued an ADHD diagnosis.
Diagnosis Was Life-Changing
Getting that diagnosis and the treatment I needed changed everything. Life still has ups and downs, but understanding that my brain is wired differently has been game-changing. It’s helped me develop self-compassion, communicate my needs, and finally find strategies that actually work for me.
Flippant comments like 'ADHD is just a trend' or 'There was no autism back in my day!' (er, yes there was, Uncle Nigel) can stop people from seeking help. And that’s the real danger.
Understanding neurodiversity isn’t about labelling people for the sake of it. It’s about recognising and supporting the way different brains function so that people can truly thrive.
Have you or someone you know faced similar challenges? Let’s open up the conversation about neurodiversity with more understanding and less judgement.
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