I’m proud of the fact I’m an alcoholic

I think it shows how strong I am. Every day I wake up and choose to be sober, and I’ve done that for over 7 years. To me, that feels pretty badass!

Breaking the stereotypes of addiction

Seven years ago, even whispering the word 'alcoholic' would have terrified me. I didn’t look like the picture of a stereotypical “addict” I had in my head. I had a great job in Singapore, I travelled often, and my life on social media looked pretty perfect.

But behind the champagne toasts on yachts and rooftop parties, I was exhausted, anxious, and up to my eyeballs in flavoured vodka...

The truth is, addiction isn’t black and white. It’s not a case of being “fine” or hitting “rock bottom.” And I think the narrative that you have to hit rock bottom before you can change is harmful. Why should we wait until we’re in the gutter to make positive choices for ourselves?

Addiction (like most things) exists on a spectrum. The most helpful question we can ask is: does this serve me, or is it harming me?

And that applies not just to alcohol, but to overwork, doom scrolling, overeating, shopping, people pleasing...all the ways we numb rather than feel.

The change triangle: why we numb

In a recent addiction awareness workshop I delivered, I shared the “Change Triangle” by Hilary Jacobs Hendel.

The Change Triangle (Hilary Jacob Hendel)

At the base of the triangle sit our core emotions - joy, sadness, anger, fear, excitement. These are natural and healthy, but many of us were taught to suppress the “difficult” ones, like anger or grief.

To avoid feeling them, we put up defences, working late, drinking, scrolling, eating, whatever distracts us in the moment. The problem is, when we numb our core emotions, we also block ourselves from feeling the more pleasant ones, like joy.

And instead of relief, what shows up are the inhibitory emotions at the top of the triangle: anxiety, shame, and guilt (I like to call them the three emotions of the apocalypse!).

This cycle is human and common - but when defences become compulsive, they can slip into addiction.

Understanding this pattern, and realising that avoiding my feelings was creating long-term dysfunction, was pretty eye opening for me!

Addiction and stigma in the workplace

There is still so much stigma around addiction, especially in the workplace. Alcohol often feels like the only drug you have to justify not taking.

And yet, when people feel safe enough to share their lived experience, it creates a ripple effect. I’ve seen entire rooms move from silence to solidarity when one person says, “me too.”

Shame thrives in secrecy, but as the fabulous Bryony Gordon says: it dies when you expose it to the light.

Creating inclusive cultures around addiction

We can create healthier, more inclusive workplace cultures when we challenge stigma, rethink labels, and make space for people to show up as they really are.

Addiction isn’t a character flaw. It’s something many of us will encounter - in ourselves or in people we love.

Change starts with honest conversations - in our homes, our workplaces, and our communities.

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